Dear Baby Billings

September 2, 2016
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Dear Baby Billings,
You should have been here today. I should have been holding you in my arms. Kissing you, loving you. I suppose your cheeks would have been nice & plump and I would be kissing them all over. I was supposed to be breastfeeding you, while I hold you in my arms in unbelief you were finally here. Admiring you. You were our rainbow baby. Our miracle. Your daddy & I were supposed to be staring at you in amazement. Your big sister & brother were supposed to be meeting you today. Holding you for the first time. Giving you kisses. Falling in love with you. We made plans for you. You should have been here today. You were supposed to be laying on your daddy’s chest, asleep and bonding. I was supposed to be tired and up all night getting to know you. I was supposed to be in pain today, recovering from your birth. I carried you for three long months. I felt your tiny baby kicks. Your Daddy & I heard your strong beautiful heart beat. My belly grew. Strangers told me I would have my hands full. You were supposed to be here today. The night I lost you, I lost part of my soul. It left too. But I’m grateful for all those labor pains I felt, the contractions, all the blood that left my body, the pain that didn’t go away because it reminded me that YOU were REAL. This was REAL. I was raw & empty inside when you left. My heart aches for you. Our family aches for you. You should have been here today. Your sister & brother still ask about you. I think a part of their hearts also broke when you left. You were supposed to be baby 3. I know you are ours and we will meet again some day. Families can be together forever. Love you eternally Baby Billings. 💙
Love mama & Dadda


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Wife Mama to Layla & Hunter 9 Angel Babies in Heaven Foster mama Photographer Dream Writer

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