Today got real.

Today was like straight out of a movie. We did this “thing” where we sat across from a specialized fertility Doctor in his office. Yeah, me the stubborn one. The one who didn’t want to see a fertility Doctor more then a year ago. Well, we did it and it wasn’t so bad. Honestly, I never ever saw this for my future… sitting there across an intelligent Dr. while he spoke in anther language basically. What I did hear was, “I would like to get a third party opinion as this is a special case and I have never dealt with these circumstances with someone at your young age and having that many miscarriages…” Are you lost yet? If you didn’t read our story on our 7 Angel Babies you might be a little confused. Let me back track a bit… its been 3 years since we started our journey on adding to our family. In those first 2 years, we lost 7 babies back to back. The last one ended in a D&C since then we haven’t been able to become pregnant. The last year & a half we have been committed to becoming foster parents. It’s been a long time goal prior to marriage and we are finally there! Currently waiting on a placement! To say its been a difficult road is a total understatement. It’s been the most vicious cycle of worry, sadness and regaining faith experience I (WE) have ever had. While there is a lot of happiness in our lives there is also a lot of uncertainty. You might be wondering why I am sharing all of these details & I will tell you the honest truth. For so long I kept every tramatic event a complete secret from friends, family members and moms at my kids school. Why? To protect myself. When in reality I only hurt myself more and made my corner very dark and lonely. Suffering in silence is the worst kind of suffering. When I finally decided to share my story with the world, I got an overwhelming amount of love, feedback, and other women who shared their stories in return. SO many women suffer in silence after a miscarriage. A friend of mine mentions that miscarriage is like tabo. No one wants to discuss it and surly not willing to share with the world. WHY? WHY do we do this to ourselves? Best advice I can give to anyone suffering from a miscarriage or any loss for that matter… reach out to the ones who love & support you. Let them in. Allow others to help & serve you. It doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you are STRONG enough to make that call or send that email because YOU MATTER! 

Okay, Back to my story about the Doctors appointment… Okay so here we are (J & I) sitting there wondering what we got ourselves into and I suddenly hear the Doc say, “Whit, I am optimistic that we can fix these problems relatively easy.” (Are you too focused on the fact that he called me Whit!? HA, me too!) Did I just hear him correctly?? Relatively easy?? Wait… I’m not sure about this. Nothing ever comes easy to me. Okay, Maybe I lied about that… Freckles. Freckles come easy to me 🙂 ha ha! Okay but seriously, it’s true. Anyway, I had to have an ultrasound where he discovered a scare tissue pocket with fluid. It’s abnormal and will need to be removed. This could be causing my infertility issue! Also, for my (YOUNG) age as he said I had a low count of eggs… womp womp! Basically, my Ovarian reserve is less then average. My uterine lining was also much thiner then he expected for my age (29). So I had a full work up of blood work (right then and there in the office!). Here we go again, another 18 vials for the books. This time Justin had to do blood work with me. This should be interesting I thought.

So for now the Doctor will be running several different tests to see where the problem may be lying. I had an AMAH Level blood test and Justin had a Chromosome blood test done. I will also be having an HSG test. Heres a description from google that I found:

The HSG (hysterosalpingogram) test is a radiology procedure usually done in the radiology department of a hospital or outpatient radiology facility. 

During the test, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube. That tube is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes. They can also show a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent spermfrom moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. The test also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall.

Another problem that could be occurring is my fallopian tube could be blown up causing the infertility. The other issue he thinks I may have is called, “Uterine Synechiae” Here’s what it means:

Synechiae is a term which means “adhesions” or a fibrous scars. Intrauterine adhesions resulting from the uterine trauma, such as curretage, are called Asherman syndrome. They may also result from other uterine interventions such as caesarian section and myomectomy. They rarely result from uterine infections such as chlamydia, tuberculosis, and schistosomiasis and the presence of the foreign body. However, it is not unusual to meet patients with synechiae with lack of any previous relevant history.
This condition usually leads to amenorrhea, hypomenorrhea, habitual abortion and secondary infertility.

Uterine synechiae in pregnancy have also been referred to as “amniotic sheets” or “amniotic folds”. They are most commonly noted as an incidental finding during the ultrasound examination in pregnancy.
In general, synechiae do not interfere with the development or fetal growth, and are rarely associated with any complications.

Anyway, this was way more long winded that I intended BUT this describes OUR journey perfectly. I share this with you not to have my personal medical history blasted over the internet, but rather as an insight for others struggling with similar situations. There is hope for you. For us we TRULY just need closure for all that has occurred. We need to know what the problem is, and if it’s able to be resolved. I can’t leave this earth never knowing WHY my body decided to let go of these precious babies. If all that I get out of this is an answer, then it will have been worth all that & more. Hugs to you if you have felt any of this pain personally of through a family member or friend. This life isn’t easy but there is a greater plan for us.