Dear covid-19

Dear Covid-19

I hate you.

Hate is such a strong word. One I don’t like to use.

My kids believe it’s a “Bad” word, but I have a beef with you.

You need to listen.

You came in like a wrecking ball. You have killed incident people.

You have overworked our doctors, nurses, paramedics, police officers, firemen, firewomen and so many more first responders.

People are so sick. old and young are all affected.

Schools been canceled. Seniors won’t get their graduation they’ve been looking forward to for nearly 18 years. Do you see what you’ve done here? Like kindergarteners don’t understand when Mommy tells them they can’t go back to school, Or that they cannot see their friends.

You are dark. and cold and mean. I hate you Covid-19. I hate all of YOU.

You are like a black crow… eating your neighbor who is you in the mirror. You are careless and deceitful. I hate you.

My friends have been hit by you. You took things from them & made them weak in the knees. You are evil. I hate you.

You took baseball away from my boys. I hate you for that.

Church is canceled. We can’t worship together because of you. You are like the plaque. dark. ugly. depressing. I hate you.

We’ve lost all contact with other humans. We stay inside to protect the ones we love. Day after day, we are still inside. My mind keeps racing. I feel strangled by you. and I can’t breath. Ugh, the air….I don’t have any air. The anxiety grabs onto to my shoulders and you linger. I hate you.

The stores are closed. The salons are closed. Ice cream shops…those too. Movie theater GHOST TOWN. Small shops closed. And now the parks & hiking trails closed. Beaches closed. YOU did all that. You shut down the world. We can’t escape. People are losing their businesses. I hate you for that.

We wake up and want to believe it was all a nightmare. But you are the nightmare. It’s all real. It’s not a dream.

We can’t hug our moms. Grandma’s. Dads. Sisters. Brothers. Aunts. Uncles. we have to STAY AWAY! We’ve missed Birthdays, Holidays, Anniversaries, Family gatherings, girls nights, school events, church activities, baseball games. I hate you.

People have lost their jobs. They are suffering and trying to provide for their families. Food is flying off the shelves. Greed is in the air. You are evil. You have created monsters. People grab everything and leave none for those can not stock pile. They can’t afford it. You are utterly disgusting. I hate you.

My husbands hours have been cut. Now he’s laid off for good. We rely on that income. To feed our children. To pay our mortgage. To live! You wouldn’t know anything about living because you are dark and dreary. You are death. I hate you.

We will be without an income during a pandemic because of COVID-19. How will we make it? How will we survive? How will the world survive this?

Doctors and nurses and hospital staff….yeah even the janitors and housekeeping… they have all put their lives on the line for US. Now they can’t even go home to their families. Your sick virus did this. Your virus is so contagious they have to be without their loved ones. I hate you.

You don’t discriminate. You like all. Black. White. Brown. You have no preference. You will infect any age. You like all genders. Your illness has traveled world wide. It has latched onto good people and bad people. It lingers in the air and can travel right to your door step. You are evil. You are dark. You are the definition of depression. I hate you.

I am 32. I am a woman. I am a mother. I am a wife. and I am quarantined with my three children. Because of you. Because I want to stay safe and protect my family I stay home. The panic starts to set in and my fear reminds me I need to see my doctor. I’m not sleeping. It’s insomnia. Something is wrong. No it’s not COVID-19 serious but something else. I’m having hot and cold flashes on the hour… sometimes twice an hour. I need to see my Doctor. Finally I see him. I get blood work done. I am in full blown Menopause at age thirty-freaking-two! Reminder… I am quarantined with my three small children and I now have menopause. I am 32! What the bloody hell!? Because of you…it makes everything more complicated. Seeing my doctor. getting blood work done. Going back to see my doctor. because of you I wait… and wait while I suffer through an uncomfortable body. Still no medicine to subside the lack of estrogen in my body. My youth has been robbed and all while I can not escape. I hate you. No you didn’t cause my early menopause… you’ve just destroyed the world I live in and made every waking day a nightmare. I hate you. I hate you for all the distance you have traveled. For all you have hurt. For those around me you have hurt. The worry you have caused. The depression. BUT… I don’t hate you for the strength we have all found. No you don’t get the credit for that. We do. the people. The strength in finding joy in side walk chalk notes, hearts on windows, drive by’s to your loved ones, WE did that! Not you. I”m grateful for the peace we have created in our own homes, for the family back at the dinner table (That was God), for movie nights and popcorn as a family, lego building without any interruptions, Barbie playing and make believe… you can’t take that from us. Sunshine and walks outside our home. Running through the sprinklers on a hot day. Popsicles while sitting on the swing. Phoning a friend and laughing so hard but also crying because this life is a new life. A hard life. FaceTime with our parents and tears of sadness. I’m still grateful for that. DO you know why? Because it’s reminded me what IS so important. What’s important is to LIVE for yourself, for what brings you JOY. To HUG the people you love and Gosh dang it tell them you LOVE them. Don’t wait. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Live for today. Keep your people close and wrap your arms around them. You matter. They matter. She matters. We all matter. WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER. LOVE WINS. so GO to hell COVID-19. I hate you.